The Time Out: Discipline That Works!

Good for Ages 3-9

By Katy Abel

 

You may be familiar with the time-out strategy, but perhaps unsure of when -- or even why -- to use it. Penny Hutchins Paquette and Cheryl Gerson Tuttle, co-authors of Parenting a Child with a Behavior Problem (Lowell House Books) offer this advice for using the technique effectively.

 

When It Works: Paquette and Tuttle are big fans of time out, but recommend that you use it sparingly, for "whatever you consider to be the most serious discipline situations with your child." Time out works well when children are hitting, damaging possessions, or engaging in unacceptable acts of aggression. The "timing" of time out is critical: Adhere to the "minute per age" rule (a 5-year-old gets a 5-minute time out). You can also choose to give toys a time out, if a child is throwing them, or give a child's mouth a time out if he or she is swearing or saying something hurtful.

 

Why It Works: When you remove children from a situation involving others, you deprive them of attention and a chance to be where the action is.

 

When It Doesn't Work: When it's overused. Many parents use time out as a cure for all ills, only to discover its effectiveness erodes as it becomes the automatic response to every minor infraction. Time out doesn't work for problems like whining or "forgetting" to pick up your toys because cause and effect are not so clear ("You're in time out because you whined" doesn't ring true the way "You're in time out because you hit your sister" does).

 

Caution: Don't use a child's bedroom as a time-out zone, assuming there are books or toys or other amusements to keep him or her happy. Choose a toy-free location that's away from other people, Cheryl Tuttle says, but still close enough so the child "can hear what everybody's doing but not be able to be part of it."

 

So, for kids who yell, hit, swear, won't share, or refuse to put their undies in the hamper, a time out can be time well spent.